Suffocating

Sometimes, I feel like I'm suffocating. Like life can't seem to give me a break. Like I'm doomed to wander this world sad and stressed out and on the brink of emotional meltdowns at any second. Once upon a time I was very happy. I hardly ever cried, everyone would always tell me that even when I was angry, I smiled. Well not anymore. For some reason my face has been stuck in this permanent frown. I'm tired of being handed these sucky cards. I'm tired of life getting harder and harder with no silver-lining in sight. Isn't that the point of trials? For them to end so that we can grow and become stronger? Not for them to keep growing until they're this huge monster that threatens to consume your life with misery. Every time something happens to me, I add it to my list. This list started in March and has just gotten longer. For about a month I was on this amazing spiritual high, I read my scriptures like I was reading Harry Potter. It was such an amazing experience to feel that great all of the time. Then it just slowly drifted away. Now I read my scriptures once or twice a week and don't pray nearly as often as I should. I wish I could say that I came up with the solution to these problems by myself, but it wasn't until I heard a testimony from a very wise woman on Sunday that I realized I've been doing life wrong. Some trials don't end. You can pray as hard as you want, but they just drag on forever. This doesn't mean that God loves you any less, that doesn't mean that God isn't paying attention to you and your prayers. It just means He's strengthening you. Have you ever heard the phrase "God doesn't give you more than you can handle"? I call bologna. God gives us more than we can handle all the time. There is no way that I'm a strong enough person to handle these things on my own. I remember what that feels like, and it's unbearable. What I mean is, God gives us more than we can handle BY OURSELVES, but if we turn to Him, life becomes just a little bit easier. The stress is gone because when you truly embrace the fact that God has a plan for you and knows what He wants you to do, then there is no need to worry so much. God will give you money, God will give you time, and God will give you your daily breath. So instead of spending so much time worrying about things that God has the power to help you with, serve Him. You may not be able to repay God for everything that He has done for you and every blessing He has bestowed upon you, but you sure can try. Strive to be perfect. Because you can be. Take little aspects of your life and work hard to perfect them. One at a time. Perfect your scripture study, perfect your prayers, perfect your studying habits or your hobbies. We are striving to be perfect beings in an imperfect world. There are struggles. There are trials. There are heartaches and there is sorrow. But there is also a loving God and we must never forget that.